AARRANGED FOOTBALL AND HOCKEY WORLD CUPS

TANVIR Sports / TANVIR Humour

ARRANGED FOOTBALL AND HOCKEY WORLD CUPS

If we look at the sporting scene in 2014, it was definitely action packed but the Sochi winter Olympics, Football world cup in Brazil and the female and male Hockey world cups held in Netherlands stand out as outstanding and extraordinary. I have already written about the Sochi winter Olympics and the propaganda preceding it. Now is the time for Football and Hockey.

Though both the Hockey world cup and Football world cups have passed, months before but both were such scintillating display of artistry, player skills, and teamwork and of course, arrangement that they still lingers in our memory.

I will take Football world cup first, even though it ended later. It looked pretty arranged to me with Brazil being good hosts and their Samba girls providing all the spice needed for such an arrangement and event.

But, my narrative begins with the final match of the Football world cup 2014 between Argentina and Germany, which Germany won by one goal. Well the football may be round but the figure that dominated the football world cup final 2014 was the rectangular or cuboid figure german goalkeeper.

Argentina looked the better team and had more and better goal scoring opportunities than Germany. We must also remember that the football goal is rectangular in outline. But, the German goalkeeper’s rectangular figure so snugly fit into the German goal that the Argentine players could not find any opening to score a goal. Not that he did not give any opportunities but the times he got a bit deflated, the sound was muffled by the noisy German fans and the full stadium. This loss of opportunity profit making on part of the Argentine attacking line left the Argentine football team and fans quite deflated in the end.

But, I must add that the inflated presence of german goalkeeper in the German goal was further boosted by a very heavy purse he was carrying. By some accounts, it carried in excess of 100 million Euros. I think considering the poor shape the Argentine economy is in, it acted as an additional incentive for the Argentine forwards not to score.

Many spectators in the stadium and millions of viewers on television wondered why the Argentine players could not score even after beating the German goalkeeper and having a seemingly empty goal in front of them. I must inform such ignorant and watsonian observation spectators and viewers that the German goal throughout the match was filled by the “sac of potatoes” presence of German goalkeeper. Hence, Argentine players could not score.
But equally its possible that the Argentine players saw only bag of potatoes in the German goal and in the dire straits Argentine economy is, thought that a bag of potatoes at the end of the match is better than the utterly worthless Football world cup. I think, such considerations prevented the Argentine players from scoring and who can blame them for this.

 In addition, we must understand that the old rectangular figure of german goalkeeper in the German goal isn’t very attractive. So, instead of running towards the German goal, most of the time they were seen running away from it.
I wonder the case if the German goal was manned by a german beauty like Steffi Graf when she was 16. She was tall, sexy, beautiful and sweet also. We all remember her legs, don’t we? Well, that certainly would have spurred the Argentine players towards the German goal. But, why just Steffi Graf, the German female hockey team has lots of beautiful attractive players and considering that they were eliminated pretty early in the Hockey world cup at The Hague, one of those beauties would definitely would have made an impression in this Football world cup final. Just run your imagination wild. Imagine that instead of the rectangular figure of german goalkeeper in the German goal, one of the beautiful German female hockey players was there. Let’s put miniskirt on her, let’s also put a sleeveless blouse on her. No shirt or T-shirt is required.

Well, in such a scenario, the Argentine players would have run wild towards the German goal. Also, a shapely German beauty is more likely to give some space between her legs to score a goal than the bag of Potatoes german goalkeeper. Also, I think german goalkeeper’s figure is not fully rectangular, there is some space on either side of his head to score a goal. But, such was the brilliance and safe hands of German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer that whenever Argentina attacked, he tightly wound his hands around his neck, closing all gaps and preventing Argentina from scoring.

But I wonder if Manuel Neuer had wound his hands a bit more tightly around his own neck, it would have been a different story altogether. In the end, his hands around his own neck won him the best goalkeeper of the tournament award. Well who can blame him?

But, the rest of the Football world cup was very interesting, with lots of spectacular goals being scored, a total of 171 goals. I think the results of following my suggestions as given by me in “The coming sporting scene is exciting” were so dramatic, with so many goals being scored and Spain being eliminated that the organizers got scared halfway in the pool stage, otherwise lot more goals could have been scored and more dramatic results would have followed.

The Brazil crowd boosted the Brazil football team to win over Colombia. If Colombia had won that match against Brazil, and it came very close on many occasions, in my estimation, it would have been a Colombia Argentina final.

France, Holland and Costa Rica also did well in this world cup with Holland beating Brazil for the third position.

Of the individual players, though Lionel Messi dazzled in this world cup but failed to score that all-important goal in the finals, which would have won his team the World cup. Christian Ronaldo also showed why he so highly paid at the club level but his team lacked necessary teamwork to derive further benefits from him.

But James Rodriguez was the most dazzling player of the tournament and scored 6 goals. If his team had got past Brazil, he would have dazzled even more and might have scored more goals. He has got the skills and necessary temperament to score in big matches and tournaments.

Overall, this world cup was very entertaining and very good to watch.

Now I come to the male Hockey. In my opinion, the Hockey world cup was far less arranged. But it looked like the early exit of Germany both from female and male Hockey world cups was prearranged for the eventual triumph of Germany in the Football world cup.

Male Hockey saw some dazzling hockey in both the pools. Argentina in pool B was the most dazzling team apart from Australia who stopped Argentina in the semifinals to advance themselves into the finals. But, one thing which stood out for Argentina was that it was both solid in defense and attack. In the pool games they scored 15 goals and conceded just 5. This type of play with excellence in both defense and attack was what was eventually responsible for the early exit of Germany. In the same pool, New Zealand was another team, which was impressive, and the Argentina New Zealand match was a virtual Quarterfinal.

In pool A, Australia was in imperial form and scored 19 goals and conceded just one. They were excellent in attack and probably better in defense.
In the same pool, Belgium warmed up a bit late but played some dazzling hockey to score 17 goals and conceding 12. It was by very thin margin that England was able to edge out Belgium to enter the semifinals.

In the semifinals, Australia continued their marauding play to outplay Argentina 5 to 1 to enter the finals. In the other semifinal, which was a bit more sedate, Holland outplayed England but could score only one goal to enter the finals.

Such was the imperial and marauding form, shown by Australia in both the pool stage and semifinals that nobody except the most ardent fan of Holland doubted as to who will lift the world cup trophy. However, even they were shocked when Australia rampaged and destroyed a clueless Holland to win a one sided final 6 to 1.
Argentina rightfully claimed the third spot by defeating England 2 to 1.
As I had written earlier in “The coming sporting scene is exciting”, hockey has become a very fast game and it’s excellent to watch, more so on television with multiple replays and angles to see the goals and misses. This world cup was at its dazzling best.
But, like other things good, the format of hockey can be made more exciting. Instead of two pools, we can have 4 and more teams can qualify to play in the world cup. This will widen the reach of hockey and will make the competition even more exciting.

If the Hockey federation can arrange for Astroturf in countries which cannot afford them, hockey can become even more popular, because its very fast and very goal scoring and is just great to watch on television.

This year, the female and male hockey world cups were held simultaneously in the Hague in Netherlands. The female pool matches were not shown in India. What a pity!

Female hockey has become very fast and it would have been a treat if both the female and male hockey matches were shown on television. If the matches coincide, instead of blacking all female matches, it should be left at the discretion of the audience to decide, which of the matches to watch. There are so many beautiful hockey players that to have 22 damsels fighting hockey on the field is a visual delight. Unfortunately, for us, some one in the Hockey federation, probably someone with a homosexual agenda decided not to show female hockey pool matches.
I think homosexual propaganda runs deep. They do not want us to see the milky white thighs and legs and arms of the female players but to spread homosexuality, they expose us to the beefy muscular arms, legs, and whatever of the sleeveless Australian, New Zealand etc players. I qualify this as discrimination against straight people and discrimination against female hockey and female hockey players and female sports and female sports players, female, and femininity.
I protest strongly and condemn this cruel act of depriving straight males like me the luxury and the opportunity to see all those beautiful hockey players at work. We can have their photographs. But the fluid motion of these female hockey players along with their dazzling artistry cannot be matched by photographs.

The only way to enjoy this fluid, musical, sensuous and sexual dance of the female hockey players is too see them perform live, even on television, with plenty of close ups etc. This is good for the game.

The Organizers of the game did give us the finals live. The Holland girls were simply superb in attack. They were tall, very fast and just didn’t allow Australia enough opportunities to attack. Holland managed to score twice in the first half, through captain Maartje Peumen and now retired Kim Lammers, who was playing in her 200th and final match. Maartje Peumen scored 7 goals in the tournament to be declared the Hero top scorer of the tournament. Ellen Hoog of Holland was named the Rababock player of the tournament. That both these players are from Holland, testifies to their skills and supremacy.
I must also admit that Australia female hockey players were compact, very pretty but in this tournament could not match the attacking qualities of the Dutch female hockey team.
But it was a superb hockey tournament

It was a superb year for sports!

Have a nice day!

COPYRIGHT © TANVIR NEBUCHADNEZAR

All Rights Tanvir Nebuchadnezar

ANNA KARENINA by LEV TOLSTOY

TANVIR BookReview

TANVIR BookTalk @ TANVIR NEBUCHADNEZAR

TANVIR Book Talk @ TANVIR NEBUCHADNEZAR

TANVIR BookReview @ TANVIR NEBUCHADNEZAR

TANVIR Book Review @ TANVIR NEBUCHADNEZAR

Anybody can say that “Anna Karenina” by Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy is a great novel. Because the world knows it and lot of important people have praised it for over a century. 

Anna Karenina is the character in the book, whose life in happiness, whose life in family, whose life as wife, whose life as relation to several families, whose life as a infidel  lover, whose life as a mother and much more is the central pivot of the book. But in spite of the title is only a part of the book to convey the thoughts of the author. In this sense it is a philosophical book.

It also depicts the social life of Russia during the time of the writing. Thus it is a social book.

It describes the psychology of characters it portrays. Thus it is a psychology book.

But the question that comes to mind is that how Lev Tolstoy managed to achieve so much in one book.

I think that though many experts and critics of literature have appreciated “Anna Karenina” as a novel and a literary work of beauty but nobody has been able to explain the multi book nature of the novel. Nearly 138 years have passed since the writing of this great book but none has been able to explain the soul of it, which is what makes it readable and likeable book for so long and its very likely to be readable and likeable for a long time to come.

I think the basic mistake which most critics and readers make in analysing “Anna Karenina” is that they view it as a work of fiction, with much of the characterisation taken from the contemporary Russia of that time. But this analysis is only partly true.

Lev Tolstoy was a foremost observer and intellectual of his time. He observed everything around him in minute details, understood the meaning of each minute event, learned of the relationship between events and thus solved this puzzle in his mind. When he solved the puzzle, he got exactly the right picture of what was happening around him, without any bias or his involvement in it. He involves himself only in the observation and not in the events themselves.

But Lev Tolstoy does not end at solving the observation puzzle. Out of the numerous people he observes in the puzzle, he sketches an average of each person type and keeps it in his mind.

It is these average sketch persons from his mind, obtained by observation and solving the observation puzzle, that he utilises in sketching the various characters of his novel, particularly in this book “Anna Karenina”. This unique method of Lev Tolstoy give ‘Anna Karenina’ the realistic and soul stirring feel that most readers will get while reading and after finishing reading the book. In this way “Anna Karenina” is a great social book.

But characterising average sketch persons only cannot give life to a book. Because each person is imbued with a certain psychology and behavioural characteristics.

Thus, Lev Tolstoy observed the psychology and behaviour of various people around him. On the basis of those psychological observations, he developed his own unique psychology study of the society he was living in. It is this psychological insight and depth which he imparts to his characters in the book.

Thus, “Anna Karenina” becomes a psychology book. Just because the names of characters are fictitious and events are described as fiction should not take anything away from the study of psychology and public relations in this book. In this way “Anna Karenina” is a great psychology book.

I will go on to say that the depth and study of psychology by Lev Tolstoy is so profound and expert, that this book ranks among the great psychology books of the world. He can be compared with Sigmund Freud. Both were contemporaries. Only difference between the two is that while Sigmund Freud wrote psychology strictly in terms of scientific terms and principles, Lev Tolstoy employs his own psychological principles and describes them in terms of his characters and events in the book.

Thus an astute psychologist will find lots of psychological principles and psychological knowledge to gain from “Anna Karenina”, like reading one of Sigmund Freud’s great psychology works. Only one has to have the right observation, analytical and timing sense to decipher and de-encrypt the psychology principles and psychology which Lev Tolstoy has so beautifully embedded in his great work “Anna Karenina”.

But psychology cannot be completely separated from philosophy. Thus we find that at various places in the book, Lev Tolstoy uses the psychological profile of the characters to state his important psychology and philosophy principles and markers. This I believe is partly philosophy originating in the mind of the author and partly a result of psychological profiling of the characters. Thus “Anna Karenina” has philosophy attributed to its various characters and this is beautifully done like the intricacies in a Persian carpet.

But we cannot neglect the pivot of the book which is Anna Karenina. Some extremely important characteristics of her show out and these are important if we are to understand her world fully.

Anna Karenina is married. Anna Karenina is very beautiful. Anna Karenina has a very desirable body and figure. Anna Karenina has a great dressing sense. Anna Karenina is very friendly and helpful by nature. Anna Karenina is inwardly  very religious and a woman of high morals. Anna Karenina is very adroit and tactful in her social dealings. Anna Karenina is a very family person and loves her family. Anna Karenina is a mother and loves her son. Anna Karenina has everything in her as a woman which a man desires. Ana Karenina is a wife to a husband she really does not love but is oblged to love and show affection.

Now, if we understand the above characterisation of Anna Karenina, it becomes easy for us to decipher her mind and understand what happens to her in the book.

A simple thing to understand is that beauty is desirable to both men and women. Both man and woman want to have a female-male sexual copulation partner who is beautiful in accordance with the phantasy image of it in their minds. The closer a person is to this image, faster they fall in love with it and remain so if reciprocated.

 

Now, if we look at Karenin who was the husband of Anna Karenina, he was below average in looks, not very sporting, nor romantic and was the exact opposite of the phantasy image, Anna Karenina had in her mind. She could and never would fall in love with him. However, on the other hand he was rich, well connected, good background and could provide all the commercial luxurious needed by Anna Karenina in her life. He loved her in his own way.

Also we must appreciate that Anna Karenina fitted the female-male sexual copulation phantasy image in Karenin’s mind perfectly. This was because Anna Karenina had qualities which would have satisfied the phantasy image of a female-male sexual copulation partner in most males.

Thus, the Anna Karenina/ Karenin relationship was one sided and doomed to failure from the beginning.

When a woman with qualities like Anna Karenina is caged in a unworthy marriage like she was, she will look satisfied from outside because of the luxuries she has and the lavish life she leads but inwardly she is always unhappy and unsatisfied. In part of her mind and heart, she is always looking for a female-male sexual copulation partner of her phantasies.

But she was married and had a 8 year old son and had a powerful, politically well connected husband. Few men, even if Anna Karenina satisfies their female-male sexual copulation partner phantasies would venture or dare to court her in such circumstances. Thus, for a caged Anna Karenina chances were very limited.

Even as Anna Karenina is in this turmoil, she meets a man Vronsky, who though does not fits her phantasy image of female-male sexual copulation partner completely but does so to some extent. But, most importantly he shows himself available and interested in her. Self analysing her limited chances and possibilities, Anna Karenina falls in love with him to gain inner happiness.

The relationship is catapulted by Vronsky principles in life: “One must be sure to pay a card-sharp but need not pay the tailor; one must not lie to men but may lie to women; one must not deceive others but may deceive a husband; one must never forgive an insult but one may deliver an insult”

A person holding such views is easy to approach and get. Anna Karenina calculated this in their meetings and partly fell in love with him. She never loved him completely because of his principles and because he never satisfied her phantasy image of a female-male sexual copulation partner completely.

This was the dilemma that caught Anna Karenina and tore her apart from within.

Though pivotal to the book, Anna Karenina is not the only character through which Lev Tolstoy exercises his mastery of psychology, social relationships and female-male sexual relations.

There are other characters like Kitty, Dolly, Levin and many more which are interwoven to convey the psychological, sexual, social and philosophical studies of Lev Tolstoy.

Through Levin, Lev Tolstoy tries to introduce farm labour reforms and suggest alternative mechanisms by which lives of people working in agriculture can be improved. It is through Levin that Lev Tolstoy stresses the importance of farm and agriculture to the society and country.

He also stresses that Russia is a great and huge country with people migrating to it in small amounts (basically Russians are babylonians who migrated into Russia between 200,000 and 400,000 years ago) and thus agriculture methods suitable to Russia and its population and land will be different from countries where availability of land is less.

This way “Anna Karenina” becomes a migration-demographic book with agriculture management tools embedded in it.

But all in all, it clearly, precisely, succinctly describes Russia and its society through its characters.

This is the greatest worth of the book and its a lovely, moving, sometimes melancholy read, which one savours page by page!

All Rights Tanvir Nebuchadnezar

COPYRIGHT   TANVIR NEBUCHADNEZAR

 

 

– See more at: http://tanvirbooktalk.blogspot.in/2016/04/anna-karenina-by-lev-tolstoy.html#sthash.ZkHLKfkE.dpuf

JOKES AND THEIR RELATION TO THE UNCONSCIOUS by SIGMUND FREUD

 

TANVIR BookTalk @ TANVIR NEBUCHADNEZAR

TANVIR Book Talk @ TANVIR NEBUCHADNEZAR

TANVIR BookReview @ TANVIR NEBUCHADNEZAR

TANVIR Book Review @ TANVIR NEBUCHADNEZAR

BOOK REVIEW: JOKES AND THEIR RELATION TO THE UNCONSCIOUS

Full Book Title: Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious

Author:  Sigmund Freud

ISBN 13: 978-0393001457

ISBN 10: 0393001458

From childhood, I noticed in myself the uncanny ability to find humour in the most severe of conditions. Generally, it helped me overcome the situation and allowed me to remain calm and composed in these trying situations, where most would be rattled. Obviously, this is the most important part humor has played in my life. Than I came across Sir Sigmund Freud’s books on psychology and I have read most of them. But purposely I didn’t read and didn’t pay too much attention to Sigmund Freud’s “Jokes and their relation to the unconscious”, which was lying in my books of collection.

The reason I gave myself for not reading the book was that I had convinced myself that a psychological study of jokes would destroy the humor in me and my capacity to enjoy it in all sorts of situations.

Nevertheless, recently I made it upon myself to read “Jokes and their relation to the unconscious”. After reading the book, and contrary to my earlier held view, I found the book very educative and instructive. I also found and juxtaposed the learning on other people, that the reading of the book in fact has enhanced my capacity to understand jokes and enjoy them better.

I advise others to emulate my example and read this excellent book on the techniques of jokes, how jokes are formulated, and what is there in a joke, which makes us laugh.

Reading the book will immensely increase your understanding of jokes and humor. You will gain much more than me simply because I started with my own researched knowledge and wisdom. You might not possess it and might be starting from ground zero and hence in my view you will gain a lot more by reading this book.

Though humor and Jokes are nothing new and have been present with us since the advent of civilization, nearly 40 to 50 million years to be precise in case of Mesopotamian culture and civilization. Both myself and  Sigmund Freud belong to Mesopotamian culture and civilization. We belong to Mesopotamian culture and civilization.

But not many people have tried to analyze humor and jokes in an analytic and scientific way, as has been done by  Sigmund Freud.

He has deciphered the coding in jokes. He has solved a puzzle, which has remained unsolved for centuries. And for this he deserves full credit and our profoundest thanks.

But thanking is the least of my worries, my worry is that this profound work by Sigmund Freud has largely been neglected and has not got its due that it deserves.

Now,  Sigmund Freud is not going to personally benefit from our thanks but reading this fine and excellent work on jokes is certainly going to make our life easier. We might discover paths of humor, which were hitherto unseen, and some of you might even conceive a masterpiece of a joke.

Though  Sigmund Freud has taken many examples as jokes but they pertain to his times and most of you are unaware and uninformed of the their circumstances and situations to fully appreciate them. Therefore, I am not reproducing any of his jokes but I am giving a joke, which has its roots in the political culture of India and is very funny.

 

The Joke goes like this:

“ Queen of England was having her birthday.

 This joke is a unique joke and will possibly be needing several techniques as given by  Sigmund Freud in “Jokes and their relation to the Unconscious” to explain its humor.

But I will just encapsulate in headings, the main techniques given by  Sigmund Freud in the book. You can try to fix one or more of these techniques to explain the humor in the above joke.

“1.Condensation

(a)        with formation of composite word,

(b)        with modification

II Multiple use of the same material

(c)         as a whole and in parts,

(d)        in a different order

(e)        with slight modification

(f)          of the same words full and empty

III Double meaning

(g)        meaning as a name and as a thing

(h)        metaphorical and literal meaning

(i)          double meaning proper (play upon words)

(j)          double antendre

(k)        double meaning with a allusion

                                                                                     “

You can pick your choosing and try to explain the joke. I have already given my explanation. But more fruitful will be if you read the book and come to this joke again to explain it.

But the brilliance of  Sigmund Freud’s book does not solely lie in giving techniques of the joke.

He also goes on to give the relationship of the joke to the subconscious. This is absolutely brilliant stuff. You have to read, understand and grasp it to appreciate the brilliant mind that lies behind the relationship.

 Sigmund Freud has also given that jokes in many cases may be the result of neurosis. But they can germinate in a normal mind as well. But it may be that a normal mind from time to time suffers from neurosis or at least episodes of them. It may be during this time that the subconscious thought processes are brought to the fore in the form of jokes.

Be the jokes to be product of neurosis or episodes of neurosis in a normal mind, we can derive some sort of knowledge about the subconscious mind of the producer of the joke.

But I will go on to add that we can derive some important information about the state of mind of the listeners by studying the effect of joke on such a person.

Thus, to consider jokes or humor as trivial is a big mistake. Joke and humor are very serious business, at least for the subconscious mind.

Have a nice day!

COPYRIGHT  © Tanvir Nebuchadnezar

All Rights Tanvir Nebuchadnezar

 

KEYWORDS : Jokes and their relation to the unconscious, Jokes, Humor, Funny,  Sigmund Freud, Unconscious, techniques of jokes, Jokes and humor, Mesopotamian culture and civilization, political culture of India, condensation in joke, double meaning in joke, neurosis, subconscious, TANVIR BookTalk, TANVIR BookReview, Tanvir

– See more at: http://tanvirbooktalk.blogspot.in/2015/03/book-review-jokes-and-their-relation-to.html#sthash.2hKq4PXX.dpuf